One year on.....where has that year gone?

I cannot believe a year has past since my last post, it had been my intention to write about my experiences over the past year but life got on the way!

I had hoped that getting things down on paper (or the computer as it is now) would have helped me process what was happening, but that really isn't me, I've found that what works best for me is working it out for myself.  With the help of friends and a good counsellor definitely, but ultimately I need to process everything in my head, by myself.

This has been really difficult because I believe that keeping emotions and feelings to myself created the situation I was in, but there is a difference between bottling everything up and not talking to anyone and knowing there is a problem, working it through in your head and then talking it through over a cup of tea and a slice of cake with a friend.  It was what worked for me, I know lots of people will have gone through a similar experience in their life and will have dealt with it in so many different ways, it's finding what works for you and working with it.

So after about 4 months on anti-depressants, some much needed time away from work and the support of a few amazing friends I am out the other side, I have been off anti-depressants for the past few months, I got myself back to work, but only with the support of my amazing boss, he gave me space when I needed it and supported me through the whole return to work thing, without that understanding and patience I would not have got back to work.  It is a very difficult process, returning to work, especially doing the job I did, you feel like everybody is watching you, talking about you and waiting for you to fall again, you need to be strong enough to get back to work, not fully back to your old self but definitely stronger than you think you need to be.

So back to work I went, it wasn't easy, it wasn't fun at times and it tested my strength and resolve to the max but I did it.

What happened once I got back to work?  I'll tell you later!

See you soon
D